Bad news for Dënniß ßchrööder fans: it looks like the malignant yellow growth on his head has spread to the back of his neck, almost mockingly seeming to take the form of his jersey number, “17”. I’m no doctor, but if I had to guess, I’d say that he is not long for this world. In a few more days we will surely see deformed golden patches of hair sprouting all over his body. Soon after, he will succumb to their sickening properties, and will be buried a sponge-looking furry husk of what used to be a great basketball player.
Which is why it was so disrespectful of Isaiah Thomas to punch him in the face late in the first quarter. What kind of craven monster punches a dying person? Only the cravenest monsters would do such a thing. Isaiah may have scored 42 and won the game, but he lost where it really counts: in the hearts and minds of NBA fans everywhere.