I don’t know why the NBA couldn’t have spread out these final games over another day. There are WAY too many highlights to do right now. I’m pretty sure they purposefully contrived this, setting me up to fail so that they could regain the highlight-making throne that I rightfully sit upon. Jokes on them, because…
Read MoreMonth: April 2016
Tyus Jones 9 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (4/13/2016)
Adjusting for the strength of an average NBA team not playing in the last game of the season, we can estimate Tyus Jones performance against the Pelicans as 4 points and 6 assists. Still pretty good, probably one of his better games, but not as attractive as the 9 and 12 he “actually” put up….
Read MoreAlan Williams 13 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (4/13/2016)
There have been impending signs the past few weeks, but it has finally occurred: Eddie Johnson, the Suns color commentator, has officially lost his marbles. I don’t even know what he’s talking about half the time in this video. Something about pizza coupons? Pinstriped suits? That’s what commentating a losing team will do to a…
Read MoreC.J. Wilcox Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (4/13/2016)
Good news for Clippers fans: For exactly one game, C.J. Wilcox looked like an NBA player! It probably (definitely) won’t make a difference in the playoffs where rotation are eight deep and the Wilcoxes of the world are relegated to post-bucket applause duty, but it could mean something next year. Viable backup to J.J. Redick…
Read MoreBen McLemore 24 Points Full Highlights (4/13/2016)
Ben McLemore hype has officially dwindled down to nearly zero. Coach Karl apparently liked him enough to start him but not enough to give him enough minutes. Or did Karl like him just fine and the reason McLemore didn’t get as much playing time this year was because he was stinking it up? Either way,…
Read MoreBojan Bogdanovic 29 Points Full Highlights (4/13/2016)
The Nets season mercifully comes to an end, without any injuries to key players and with a cool 29-burger from Bojangles, but their arduous journey back to relevance has only just begun. Will they be any better next year? Will they be somehow worse? What about two years from now? Can they attract any free…
Read MoreJames Ennis 28 Points Full Highlights (4/13/2016)
This game and the 29-point game that preceded basically guarantee that James Ennis will be in the NBA in some capacity next season. And I’m not talking just Summer League. Or just a preseason roster. I’m talking about opening-night rosters. He’ll be the thirteenth man somewhere without a doubt. I can state this with confidence…
Read MoreKobe Bryant 60 Points/1 Retirement/1 Final Game Full Highlights (4/13/2016)
The final buzzer sounded. Kobe looked out towards the roaring fans, feeling gratitude towards them even as an unfamiliar feeling of emptiness started to grow in his chest. He felt as if his identity as a basketball player had been stripped away. Looked at in that context, the relentless cheering could be interpreted as mocking….
Read MoreJustin Holiday Career High 29 Points Full Highlights (4/13/2016)
After much deliberation, I have come up with the following offseason plan for the Bulls: Trade everyone except for Derrick Rose (no one will take his contract or his knees) and Justin Holiday (self-explanatory after tonight). Start over with those two as a core or, more accurately, Holiday as the core and Rose as towel-waver…
Read MoreOmer Asik Career High 24 Points Full Highlights (4/13/2016)
Forget all the other stuff you may have heard about tonight. This is the REAL most amazing scoring performance of the night, a night that now belongs to OMER ASIK. Asik’s struggles at getting the ball to go into the whole have been well-covered this season. Despite having the confidence of the coaches, starting 63…
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