If Tim Frazier was a muffin, what kind of muffin would he be? Let’s analyze the facts.
Bran? Bran muffins are the favored muffin of old people. Everyone knows that the favored Pelican of old people is Omer Asik, not Frazier. We can conclude that he would not be a bran muffin.
Lemon Poppyseed? If you take a drug test after eating way too many of those things, you end up failing because of the trace amounts of opium you ingested. What are you implying here? That Frazier is using performance enhancing drugs? Jeez, dude. What an accusation without much proof. As of right now, Frazier would not be a lemon poppyseed muffin.
Blueberry? Wow. Just no.
Sour Cream Blueberry? Now you’re just being ridiculous.
Chocolate Chip? Muffins with chocolate chips embedded within don’t look so good at first glance, probably because the chips kind of look like rabbit turds. Once you get over that, though, you take a bite and it tastes pretty good! Just like Frazier. On the surface, he looks like a midget PG who couldn’t possibly be any good, but then it turns out that once you get to know him, he’s totally acceptable.
It has been determined. If Tim Frazier were a muffin, he would be a muffin of the chocolate chip variety.