November 6, 2016 – DownToBuck

Kristaps Porzingis 28 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2016)

New conundrum: should my new nickname for Kristaps, “Kris-P” (prounounced “crispy”) be spelled that way or should it be spelled “Krispy”? Which way makes more sense? Here are the poll options, since it easier for me to understand the results if they are provided back to me in poll format: A.) Kris-P B.) Krispy C.)…

DTB’s Official NBA Power Rankings (Week 1)

For my inaugural “real” power rankings where it’s a power ranking of actual teams in the NBA rather than something stupid like Hot Pockets Flavors or NBA Players With the Stupidest Hair, I promise to provide meaningful basketball insight in a way that includes no insight whatsoever. Let’s get this party started! WOOP WOOP 1….

Marreese Speights 15 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2016)

Marreese Speights had just tipped in a miss by his teammate when he felt that familiar tingling on the top of his head. He barely had time to whisper “oh no” before an unbelievable pain jolted through him. He doubled over, clutching his head, knowing that soon his cyst would begin receiving transmissions in the…

Kent Bazemore 20 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2016)

Kent Bazemore was in a pretty big slump to start the season, shooting below 30% from the field (AKA “The Nikoloz Tskitishvili Zone”). Even if you didn’t know that fact going into this video, you would figure it out quickly based on how often the commentators refer to Bazemore’s made shots being “good to see”…

Nicolas Laprovittola 11 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/5/2016)

Nicolas Laprovittola, his footfalls guided by a compulsion of unknown origin, stumbled through the marsh, each step more tiresome than the last. Greenish water, thick with muck, lay still under the cloudy sky. Drooping trees and tangled vines stymied his every effort to navigate to… somewhere. The end goal of this journey was a mystery….

Bobby Portis 16 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2016)

He’s not playing, Bulls fans. You are aware of this. You have always been aware of this. Do you have answers, Bulls fans? I seek answers. “He” being Bobby Portis. I don’t care why Jerian Grant isn’t playing. I know why that is. It’s because he sucks. Bobby Portis doesn’t suck. At least, he didn’t…

K.J. McDaniels 13 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2016)

There was no K.J. McDaniels dunkilation last year. A tragedy, I know, but as much as I wanted to make it, he only dunked it 10 times. That’s a good ratio to the mere 29 total shots he made, but not even close to enough material. There is hope this year, though. He’s already slamjammed…

Ersan Ilyasova 21 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2016)

You know what sucks? Yes, the 76ers lost this game despite heroic efforts by Ersan Ilyasova and Joel Embiid. That’s not what I’m talking about here, though. Yes, I have irreparably destroyed my once-pristine relationship with Jenniner. I don’t want to talk about it, who are you, my therapist? Yes, the Taco Bell nearest me…

Joel Embiid 22 Points/4 Threes/4 Blocks Full Highlights (11/5/2016)

Man, the 76ers need to find a trade partner to take Jahlil Okafor right away. Before his value drops any further. Because after watching Joel Embiid come in and incite more excitement than I’ve seen from Philly fans since A.I., there is no way that Okafor can have any relevance for them anymore. I feel…

Dennis Schröder 17 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (11/5/2016)

The Hawks scorekeepers need to be fired. Is there a hashtag or something for requests like this? Do I need to make one myself? Because this is the second time this season that they have, either deliberately or ignorantly, sabotaged my highlight-making efforts. First it was Tim Hardaway Jr. and his phantom bucket, now it…