Tyler Ulis is listed at 5’10”, the shortest in the league as far as I’m aware. That puts him roughly at the height of the average American male. However, it is common knowledge that NBA player heights are universally adjusted upwards unless you’re Kevin Durant and don’t want to be known as a seven-footer (insert pic of Durant standing next to Cousins here). So how tall is Ulis really?
You can take off two inches for the “shoe” factor. He was probably measured while wearing shoes. So that makes him 5’8″, but we’re not done yet.
On measuring day he worked out his legs right before the measuring took place. So his legs were really buff that day, dishonestly adding an inch to his alleged height. 5’7″.
NBA players pretty much get to say what height they wanted to be listed at. Tyler picked 5’10” because it’s at the minimum height to be taken seriously as an NBA player and not be seen as a sideshow freak like Boykins or Bogues. Just looking at him you can see he can’t be taller than 5’6″ at the VERY most. Probably more like 5’5″. There’s another three inches off.
So, after all those things are taken into account, Tyler Ulis is only 4’11”. And that’s with shoes on.
The scorekeepers felt so bad for him that they gave him a steal when I can’t tell that he touched the ball at any point during the play. I feel bad for him too. If he was here with me now I would give that shrunken little manlet a hug and tell him that girls like short guys too. That would be a lie, of course. If you’re under five feet no girl even looks at you because you’re out of their range of vision.