What the hell kind of name is Jrue, anyway? Just something that somebody (probably the mother, you know how they can be) just made up for fun? I can’t find any reference to any other “Jrue”s. Is Holiday the only one? That would be kind of cool, but not really, because it’s mostly lame, because who the hell has a totally unique first name? Part of the deal when being a human is you share a big part of your personal identity (in the form of an identifier) with a bunch of people who you aren’t related to and will never meet. Like if we used numbers instead there would be thousands of people with the number 3482210. Okay? That’s really part of the deal and I’m a little ticked that Jrue isn’t a part of that.
Yeah, I know. It’s a black people thing. But it doesn’t even sound right when you say it. Djroo. Juhrew.
His brother is named Justin. That’s a frickin’ normal name right there. Perfect. Justin Holiday. Sounds great. No smashing the built-up-over-hundreds-if-not-thousands-of-years naming system that humanity has established. There’s lots of cool people named Justin. My best friend in second grade was named Justin. He was a bro. A cool bro. There are no cool bros named Jrue, unless Jrue Holiday is a cool bro. But that still makes only a maximum of one.