Jordan McRae: better fit for the Cavaliers than J.R. Smith? Let’s take a look at the facts:
POSITION: Both McRae and Smith are shooting guards. Advantage: it’s a tie
POINTS: McRae had 21 points in this game. Smith had zero. It’s like he was totally missing in action. Good players don’t disappear like that. Advantage: McRae
POINTS PART TWO: McRae is averaging 5.4 points per game this year. Smith is averaging 8.6. Advantage: McRae
FAMILY MEMBERS NOT BEATING UP CHINESE PEOPLE: If McRae’s family members ever went to China to beat up Chinese people, the media kept it under wraps. Smith’s family has a known history of going to China with the specific aim of just choking and punching any Chinese person they see. Advantage: McRae
FIELD GOAL PERCENTAGE: McRae is shooting a dismal 37% from the field this year. Smith is shooting a dismaler 33%. Advantage: reluctantly McRae
GIRLS TRYNA GET THE PIPE: McRae probably has a lot of chicks trying to get his pipe, but Smith is so overwhelmed by pipe-seeking females that he has to put them on blast on Twitter. Advantage: Smith
POSTING PICTURES OF THE BIGGEST BOOTIES ON TWITTER: McRae doesn’t post pictures of big booties to his Twitter. Smith does, and not only are they big booties, they are the BIGGEST booties. Advantage: Smith
BEING FRIENDS WITH LEBRON: McRae is best friends with LeBron and they hang out all the time. I saw them at the mall food court feeding each other ice cream and giggling (LeBron has a preference for cookie dough ice cream by the way). LeBron hates Smith because he is a team distraction who is inconsistent on the court. If they were forced to share ice cream together there would be no giggling.
DTB’S FINAL INDOMINABLE TRUTHFUL VERDICT OF TRUTH AND FINALITY: Jordan McRae is a BETTER fit for the Cavaliers than J.R. Smith.