Brandon Jennings got a surprise starting gig tonight, after Derrick Rose failed to show up for the game and didn’t tell anyone about it. That’s why you have backups! As of this writing, Rose’s current whereabouts are unknown, so you know what that means. Speculation! Baseless speculation! I’ve got a few theories as to Rose’s mysterious disappearing act.
-His knee exploded again and he didn’t want anyone to find out because of the embarrassment
-He nutted but she kept suckin’
-He realized that Jennings is a better fit than he is in the starting lineup and wanted to force Hornacek’s hand
-A bad slice of floppy triangular pizza left him toilet-bound
-Uber driver thought “Madison Square Garden” meant “Dave G. Square’s Botanical Mysterium” in Madison, Alabama
Whatever the case, Jennings made his minutes count, scoring 20 and looking like the only Knick player who even cared a little bit. I swear, the Knick commentators were really losing it as they got crushed by the Pelicans. Kept saying stuff like “No defensive intensity” and “some sarcastic cheers from the crowd”.