Malcolm Brogdon 16 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/20/2017)

I have been misled. The NBA has betrayed me. I’m unsure if I even want to go on. I looked up coffins on Amazon and they’re pretty cheap. Maybe I’ll buy one just so I can lie in it until death really does come and whisk me away from this existence fraught with betrayal, lies, and deceit.

The “assist” for Malcolm Brogdon at 0:40 in this video was obviously not Brogdon’s work. It was Giannis who should have gotten the assist for Plumlee’s goaltended basket. Just one assist isn’t a big deal, except when it is, and this is one of those times. You see, I would never include just four assists in a highlight video. Five is the absolute minimum unless your name starts with “N” and ends with “Ikola Jokic”. I went into this video under the safe assumption that The President had five dimes, but video evidence tells me that he only had four. Meanwhile, the NBA hides behind its veil of secrecy, its stat-counting methods unknowable and its headquarters unassailable (I tried to break in with a crowbar).

I’m so discouraged right now. Discouraged and hurt and betrayed.

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