Marquese Chriss shows it all in this game. Dunks (of the windmill and non-windmill varieties), Euro-steps, midrange jumpers, threes, everything is present and accounted for other than footwork-heavy post moves. Given Chriss’ newly displayed offensive versatility, it is time for me to reveal the nickname that I have been crafting in secret for ere these months, slaving away in my private chamber, waiting for the perfect moment to unleash my creation upon the unsuspecting world:
Chrisstaps.
Boom! Blew your mind, didn’t I? If you’re too slow of mind to understand the reference, this new nickname is an unexpected yet fitting combination of the names Chriss and Kristaps (Porzingis, you dummy). Porzingis is already an offensive juggernaut in his second year (somebody fix his Achilles please), and Chriss, frankly, looks to be heading down the same path, especially if you ignore all the games where he scores four points in twenty minutes.
It’s also a funny nickname because there is a beef going on between those two players and every time they match up they fight really hard with punches and fists MMA-style. It’s like the nickname has multiple layers and every time you peel one back there’s another layer of nuance that you hadn’t even thought about. Damn. Such a good nickname. Chrisstaps.