“Trust the Process!” slurs the drunken Philly resident, having just finished throwing snowballs at Santa and vomiting on little children. “Joel Embiid is my favorite player! Hinkie died for our sins! We traded Stauskas? Good!” he yells as he takes another swig from his flask, and makes sure the batteries he will use to pelt Eagles players with are still in his pocket. “Okafor and Stauskas both sucked! They weren’t misused or marginalized at all!” He stumbles, and falls face first into a pile of yellow snow. “Philly cheesesteaks are a unique cultural representation of my city and not just meat and cheese on bread, something any bumbling drunkard could come up with in any city of the United States!”