It’s obvious when you watch this game that the Raptors are finally playing free and loose thanks to the departure of one Bruno Caboclo. You think I’m joking right now? Obviously, you’ve never been in an NBA locker room. I have. Many times. And I can tell you right now that having such a big bust on the roster just puts a cloud over everybody’s head. It’s like a fog of bustitude that slowly erodes team chemistry.
Caboclo would walk into the room and nobody would talk to him. It would get all uncomfortable and awkward. Players would want to tell the bust to leave but they couldn’t. Jakob Poeltl maybe suffered the most, since he’s a young player who doesn’t have the experience of enduring toxic locker room situations. Now that the cancer is gone, he can play up to his full potential, unencumbered by that gigantic bust who has made eleven total field goals in his four year career.
Now it’s actually a source of team bonding to talk about how much of a bust Caboclo was. I had hidden microphones planted in the Raptors’ locker room and they picked up Poeltl saying to an unknown teammate, “Malachi Richardson might be a bust but he’s not as big of a bust as that big bust Bruno was. I can’t wait to go out there and make layups and grab rebounds without being depressed about that loser.” I mean, you don’t have to take my word for it, I’ve got the recordings right here. As soon as I figure out how to format them for the YouTubes I’ll upload them.