So Robin Lopez is still in Chicago even though pretty much every playoff-contending team would have loved to trade a mediocre pick + a mediocre prospect for him. Lopez has spent a fair chunk of his career on losing teams, so he’s probably faring okay, but still, I thought for sure he would be moved.
And it’s not just my gut instinct telling me this. The day before the trade deadline I was eating my customary Pop-Tart Sandwich Deluxe for breakfast when I noticed something weird. I’m gonna take a break here for some explanation: a Pop-Tart Sandwich Deluxe is different from a regular Pop-Tart Sandwich. A Pop-Tart Sandwich is just one of one kind of Pop-Tart put between two of another kind of Pop-Tart. The Deluxe version is just a toasted English muffin, a maple-flavored sausage patty, and whatever Pop-Tart I feel like eating that day.
So I finished up my PTSD (that’s Pop-Tart Sandwich Deluxe, non Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and I was looking at my plate for any crumbs big enough to eat when I noticed that the crumbs had formed themselves into the shape of Robin Lopez’s face. I interpreted this as a sign that Lopez would be involved in a deal in the coming days. I’ve always felt like I was somehow chosen to be the world’s Pop-Tart ambassador and this augury was just more proof of that.
Maybe I misinterpreted the omens I was receiving through my Pop-Tart crumbs. Maybe the crumbs were actually an image of Willie Reed. For sure I will be making more attempts to find out if I really do have a special power of foretelling or if I’m just a messy, sloppy eater.