Ben Simmons was snubbed, by my estimation, about 10 times (Goran Dragic are you serious????) for the All-Star game this year. That sucks for him, and it also sucks for me, because I have to keep making this dude’s highlights until the end of the year where he’ll finally stop being a rookie. Not like I don’t like Simmons. I do. He’s great. I like the way he runs up and down the court. It’s just that he takes up time that I could be using to make Ish Smith vids that no one watches instead. Also, his TIP-36 (Thumbnail Images Produced per 36, my proprietary advanced stat that accurately determines the value of a player) is garbage. One of the lowest in the league, probably. If he’s on the court, he’s making the one face he always makes, which you can see in the thumbnail. I want variety! I want weird facial expressions!
He had a triple-double tonight, somehow only the 6th of the season even though he’s averaging 16/8/7. I guess that’s a good thing, actually. It means he’s not mindlessly chasing arbitrary statistical goals unlike some players I could name whose names start with “Russ” and end with “Brick”. Also, he hit two jumpers, two legit jumpers that weren’t him running across the lane or anything. The one that was called a shot-clock violation was eventually counted, in case you were wondering. I think Tony Brothers would have been assaulted trying to leave the area had they not reversed that one.