When Marco Belinelli goes to a new team, the first question I ask myself is, “will the television commentators of his new team pronounce his name with an exaggerated Italian accent that makes me want to die?” I reflexively ask this question in self-defense because one of the commentators for the Hornets (the Charlotte kind of Hornets, not the New Orleans kind who Belinelli also played for) used to do it and, indeed, hearing it made me want to die.
If Belinelli ever landed on the Nuggets, for example, I would have to shut down my channel and live as a hermit inside a fort made out of stolen Walmart shopping carts that was cladestinely constructed behind the store. Those guys have no shame.
Early returns for the “Belinelli on the Sixers” experiment are promising. The commentators got hyped for him, but never made reference to his Italian heritage through poorly-done accents. He also scored seventeen points, which wouldn’t have qualified him for highlights under normal circumstances, but a debut for a new team is not “normal circumstances” so you get a video of it. Soon everybody in Philly will realize he’s a chucker who doesn’t care about getting good looks, but for now I’ll let them be happy with their shiny new acquisition.