I’m too sad about my whole entire channel getting deleted to write another sad story about how Taj Gibson tries and fails to woo his cheerleader crush Brianna. I don’t think I can face having to write up a situation where Gibson’s teammates cruelly trample his dreams in emasculating, embarrassing, or demeaning ways. Having to portray that kind of fictional sadness is more than I can handle right now. I’m also not ready to write a story where Taj and Brianna finally get together because then I wouldn’t be able to go back to the stories where Karl-Anthony Towns cucks Taj in hilarious ways.
Instead I will comment on the homerific Timberwolves commentators, who somehow got it into their heads that Gibson should me a candidate for the MIP Improved Player of the Year award. Let me pause the description here so I can have a hearty laugh at their homerism.
Okay, now that I’m back, I’d just like to remind everybody out there that Gibson is only averaging one more point per game than he was in his 55 games with Chicago last season. That singular extra point can be attributed to him getting six more minutes per game. He is shooting better from the field, but the MIP Improved Player usually is a player who upped their PPG average by five points or more. I’m not going to share with you my full MIP Improved Player Candidate Power Rankings, but Gibson doesn’t even appear in the top fifty. So there. DTB wins again.