Brandon Ingram 21 Points/6 Assists/3 Blocks Full Highlights (2/26/2018)

Let me remind you that if Brandon Ingram’s last name was actually DeIngram, you could rearrange the letters in DeIngram and come up with the word “midrange”. This is not an accident. When we see Ingram make one of his baby-giraffe-looking pull-up midrange jimbos, it’s happening because he’s supposed to. It’s his role in the cosmos, to take and make midrange jimbos with ever-improving accuracy. There’s some mystical power out there in the cosmic stardust, a power that’s 90% chemical and 10% “other”, and that power smiles a little bit when Ingram makes one of those shots.

This unseen force of midrange jumper accuracy is also the reason behind Khris “Middlerange” Middleton’s stellar midrange shooting this season. You think I’m joking around right now? I’m not. I’m deadass. You want more proof that midrange jumpers are influenced by some higher entity? Every time I go to the park and shoot around by myself, I splash at least 70% of my midrange jumpers. I am the chosen one and I feel it every time the ball leaves my hand. Well, 70% of the times the ball leaves my hand.

Since I am the official medium for this “god”, I guess you could call it, I will be writing out the holy book soon. Copies will be $20 plus shipping. Get in on the ground floor of a cult before I institute a membership fee. Apply in the comments below.

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