“Dear Father,
I hope prosperity finds you well in the homeland. I know it is tough to only see me in the images in the newspaper, but I think of you and Baba every day. And Lucija, tell her again how I miss her, how my heart yearns for her smile. I would write to her myself, but I seem to have misplaced her address, and I don’t think she knows how to read, exactly.
You have probably heard by now, but I had a successful game against the Konjanici of Cleveland. I scored many points against LeBron James, and also defending him as well or better as anyone on my team. The whole world saw my exploits and that, I’m afraid, is the problem.
As you can guess, my hair loss continues at a frightening pace. Your gift of a lock of hair from a gypsy purportedly from the clan that cursed our family, though well-meaning, did nothing. Even if I could find a gypsy in Indiana, which I cannot despite my best efforts, I fear that it would be futile as well to attempt the transplant with their hair. Also, in America, such an act as forcefully cutting someone’s hair, even if they are Roma, is called “assault” and is a serious criminal matter.
This was not as much of a problem before, but now that I am shown worldwide every game in the playoffs, my anxiety over my baldness grows worse by the day. I had a great game, on both sides of the court, but I couldn’t wait to retreat back to the locker room, out of the judging gaze of the fans. My post-game interview was almost unintelligible, so great was my desire to hide. But that wasn’t the worst part.
When I was guarding LeBron, in the second half, he looked me straight in the eyes and said “The curse will never be lifted. Believe me.”, and I froze up. I looked at his own head of hair, which he has unsuccessfully attempted to remedy with the artificial techniques of medicine, and his head, which now reflects perfectly the glare of the arena lights, and I despaired. If even LeBron James, the most famous and wealthy athlete in the world, cannot undo the ancient spell that was placed on him by gypsies, what chance do I have?
All hope is lost, father. Do not send any more remedies. I must face my baldness head on, like the man you want me to be. I must make you proud.
Your loving son,
-Bojan”