Okay, here’s the deal: I would trade literally any player from any team in exchange for Thon Maker. If it’s an NBA player and he’s still breathing and his brain still works, I will take him as long as it means Thon goes away. There’s some pesky thing called the “trade deadline” which supposedly prevents any more deals from being made, but here’s the thing: you don’t have to tell the league office when you make a trade. You can just do it. It’s not a big deal. If anybody asks your team how you got Thon Maker on the roster you just say “I don’t remember, but he’s here now so we gave him a jersey” and, I mean, how are they going to stop you from doing that? They aren’t. That’s why I should be allowed to trade Thon right now.
I even wrote a letter to Adam Silver asking him about the situation. I feel justified in reprinting his response back to me in full:
“Dear DTB,
Yeah the trade deadline is more like a suggestion than a rule, so don’t worry about it. If you want to trade him for Abdel Nader or Royce O’Neale you can totally do that. I totally get why you would want to trade that guy. He sucks. I get mad when I think about him because his presence on an NBA roster is indicative of how far the league has fallen from a talent perspective.
Love your videos bro,
-Adam”
That’s what he literally wrote to me. So now that we have the approval of the league office, we can trade Thon anywhere we want. I bet we could even trade him to Europe in exchange for a guy whose name ends in -ic and has a lot of facial hair. That’s another thing that Thon sucks at. Having facial hair.
Somebody please let me trade him. Please.