After the Spurs’ surprise win over the Warriors to hold off elimination for one game, I snuck in the Warriors’ locker room to see how the players were reacting to the fact that Manu Ginobili completely buried them at the end of the game. Here’s what I saw:
Kevin Durcupcake: Butt-blasted by veteran savvy he can only dream of, also checking mirror for progress on his bald spot
Draymond Accidentalsnapchatofhispenis: Jealous of Ginobili’s scoring skill which has not diminished with age
Stephanie Lurry: Wondering how Ginobili can be injury-free while Lurry’s own body is falling apart
Klay Thompson: Trying to figure out where Argentina is on a map while stoned
Shaun Livingsnoknees: Taking notes on how to still be relevant while old
David Worst: Reading Livingston’s notes over his shoulder
JaWheeze McAsthma: Telling reporters that Ginobili might be good at shooting, but he can’t really catch alley-oops anymore
Andretirement Iguoldala: Typing “Florida retirement communities” into Google on his phone
Quinn Cock: Trying to figure out if he had said his first words by the time Ginobili entered the league
Kevon Looser: Making plans with Steve Kerr on how to flagrant foul Ginobili so hard that he dies
Nick Azalea: Doesn’t care about any of this because baksetball is just a fun diversion for him