Is it fair to say that Jonah Bolden was… emBOLDENed by this performance? Ha! Ha! HAHAHAHA! EMBOLDENED! Get it? Hehehe. Because his name… is BOLDEN! HA! That’s all I’ve got, folks. That right there, that crappy pun, is going to form the entirety of this description about Bolden and his career-high-shattering performance, because I’ve got…
Read MoreDay: January 6, 2019
Jusuf Nurkic 25 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2019)
It seems like at least once a game, Jusuf Nurkic ends up on the floor clutching one body part or another as a pool of blood spreads from his prone body. Who says basketball isn’t a contact sport? He should start wearing a helmet so he can take those elbows to the face without missing…
Read MoreDerrick White 19 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2019)
Whitesanity is happening right now. RIGHT NOW, people. Maybe there isn’t as much worldwide interest as there has been for past -sanities, but that doesn’t mean that Whitesanity isn’t real and isn’t really awesome. It just means that some people are bad (not good) and don’t want to allow themselves to get excited by one…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 25 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2019)
Serge Ibaka always torches the Bucks, and it always happens the same way: by him shooting a bunch of barely contested midrange jumpers. Especially this season, since the Bucks’ new defensive strategy is to basically let teams shoot as many of those as they want. Over time, I guess, the theory is that the Bucks’…
Read MoreFred VanVleet 21 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/5/2019)
It is as I feared: almost all of these assists are to Serge Ibaka, and none of them are to Kawhi Leonard. Why does Fred VanVleet hate Kawhi? It may not seem like he does, because there are no locker-room reports of fights involving or not involving punching, there are no attacks through the media,…
Read MorePascal Siakam Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2019)
All the evidence is now pointing to Toronto’s “bench mob” from last year just being “Pascal Siakam the Great and his motley crew of garbage-suckers”. Because now that he’s graduated to being a legit starter, the bench can hardly do anything. Evidence: the bench scored 5 of the 123 points the Raptors scored this game….
Read MoreJalen Jones 15 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2019)
At the 0:53 mark of this video, the Cavs commentator who isn’t Austin Carr (I forget his name right now) says something rather dumb: that Jalen “Jalebird” Jones, by scoring his thirteenth point, has set a “New Rookie NBA Career High”. He didn’t say the “Jalebird” part (that is my own ingenious nickname innovation) but…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 21 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2019)
“Dear Diary, Today after we lost to the Blazers, coach Mike was real angry with us. He said we need to “step up” because James can’t win the game all by himself. Then he said “Austin stepped up but nobody else did” and that made me happy even though he said it an angry way….
Read MoreJustin Jackson Career High 28 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2019)
As the team walked into the locker room, the mood of the Sacramento Kings was one of disappointment. To come so close to beating the Warriors, the defending champs and still one of the best teams in the NBA, was heartbreaking. Justin Jackson trudged to his locker, wishing dearly for the laughing and chatting which…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 32 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (1/5/2019)
I swear, my 12-foot-tall 3D-printed purple plastic naked statue of Buddy Hield who has somehow gained sentience is getting smarter by the day. I wouldn’t think he would get smarter just by hanging out in my apartment and watching cute animal videos on YouTube (today he spent about three hours giggling at that video of…
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