It’s no coincidence that the Jazz have won all their games since Royce “Shaqueale” O’Neale was inserted into the starting lineup. Actually, I’m pretty sure it is a coincidence, because there’s no way that O’Neale, with his sporadic scoring and general wallflower-ness, is impacting the game in such a large fashion that he is causing…
Read MoreDay: January 19, 2019
Marco Belinelli 19 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
Marco “Marcoroni and Threes” Belinelli has been on a nice run for the Spurs lately, averaging 18 in his last five appearances. He scored 19 points against the Timberwolves in this one. And that’s all I have to say about that. You want more description? Too bad. These descriptions are supposed to be short and…
Read MoreRudy Gay 22 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
I’m freaking out right now, because I literally can’t remember a single thing about Rudy Gay’s multi-year tenure in Sacramento. He was there for 3.5 seasons, basically averaged 20 points during that time, and I can’t even bring to mind an image of him wearing the jersey, much less doing anything while wearing it. Did…
Read MoreShai Gilgeous-Alexander 24 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
I’m not hearing enough Shawn Livingston comparisons for Shai Gilgeous-Alexander. They’re probably being made, but I’m not hearing them, and I shouldn’t have to go spelunking in the most depraved depths of Clippers fandom to do so. These comparisons should be being shouted from the loftiest mountaintops through a megaphone pointed at my apartment. Here’s…
Read MoreMarcus Smart 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
So I guess I have to grudgingly admit now that Marcus Smart is a good three-point shooter. He was shooting above 35% before this game happened, and then Smart went 6-of-8, which means that his percentages will probably go up. To me, 35% is roughly the line that separates “okay” three-point shooters from “good” ones….
Read MoreAnte Zizic 15 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
Ante “Antetozizpo” Zizic was a major factor in this game not being an absolute embarrassment of a blowout. The Cavs had 60 points after three quarters (three of them thanks to Zizic), which isn’t so bad by itself, but the Jazz had 93 in the same span, and if things had proceeded as they had…
Read MoreJake Layman 20 Points/1 Quarter Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
Lurking in the nighttime shadows in the upscale neighborhood, Jake Layman tried to pick the lock as quietly as he was able. Even if the house he was targeting didn’t have the most aware of residents, the inhabitants of nearby houses were likely to be hyper-vigilant about possible crimes in the area. So Jake took…
Read MoreDwyane Wade 20 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
Since I know Dwyane Wade is reading this (Hi Dwayne!!!), I want to personally inform him that I am offering him, and him only, a one-time reduction in the cost of my boutique steroid treatments. The previous price was somewhere in the tens of thousands per treatment, but for today, and today only, Dwyane, you…
Read MoreReggie Bullock 19 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
In the first quarter of this game, after Reggie “Ock and Bull Torture” Bullock had scored eight quick points, it was mentioned by the commentators that Bullock is prone to hot starts that cool off after the first quarter. So I decided to do some fact-checking. Yeah, I know. DTB and fact-checking. Hilarious pairing, right?…
Read MoreJaren Jackson 23 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)
Remember when the Grizzlies started the season strong and were actually sort of good for a little while? I think they were even the first seed in the West for a short period of time after a five-game winning streak in late November. However, as with all things in life, good things are doomed to…
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