Patrick Beverley is just about the worst player for me to feature on my channel. Not because he’s a boring player, but just because most of his impact comes on defense, not offense. Or so it is said, anyway. Since DTB does not care about defense and will, on principle, refuse to show defensive highlights other than blocks, a P-Bev highlight video on my channel will never give you the whole story of his game.
Here’s some things that Beverley should work on if he wants me to look more favorably on him:
-Be a big, white European center who can easily achieve triple-doubles
-Be a threat to make ten three-pointers in a game
-Dunk hard and dunk often
-Don’t ever get assists; focus only on scoring because that makes highlight videos more fast-paced
-If you do feel the need to pass, try to be the “Milos Teodosic” kind of passer
-Do not play defense
-Be a rookie on a team with a large fanbase so I can rack up the view counts
If Beverley can do all the things on the above list, he will find himself getting a lot more highlight videos from yours truly than he is right now.