When I looked at the box score of this game and saw that Bruno Caboclo had scored a career-high-tying eleven points, I’m pretty sure I had some type of medical episode that briefly incapacitated me. I remember feeling like my heart was beating too fast and my muscles were spazzing out, but then that was all I remember. Next thing I knew, it was thirty minutes later, and I woke up to my kitty Japurri Purrker licking my face and poking me with his paw.
I still don’t feel quite normal, but I felt better enough after getting some Hot Pockets in me to make this highlight video and write this description. If my thoughts seem a little jumbled or my written words stop being coherent, it’s because I overdosed on hype and self-medicated with microwavable sandwich pockets.
One could argue that this the best game that Caboclo has had in his uneventful NBA career, a career that is now entering its fifth year. It is certainly the game where he has hit the most three-pointers (three of them), but I would say that his other eleven-point game, back in 2017, was better. In that one, he made five shots (as opposed to three) and defensively dominated, uh, Derrick Williams. Okay, I’m not sure that he defensively dominated anybody, but I know for a fact that five shots is better than three shots. That’s an inarguable fact.
I think I’m going to cut the description short here and go lie down. If I don’t make any more highlight videos tonight, it’s because I died. All my earthly possessions should go to my sentient Buddy Hield statue. Please cremate me and mix my ashes in with the demolished Bradley Center. Thanks.