Celtics fans better not get too attached to Jaylen Brown, because he is almost certainly going to be part of the package that the Celtics trade to the Pelicans in order to get the disgruntled Anthony Davis in return. I feel like Celtics fans have already detached from Brown given his regression from last season to this season, but if there are still some fans out there clinging to the idea that Brown will be some kind of Paul Pierce-level star for the team, I advise them to relinquish that idea from their grasp.
I believe that the final package the Celtics offer for Anthony Davis will be this:
One (1) Jaylen Brown
One (1) Al Horford
One (1) Authentic Plymouth Rock (with Christopher Columbus’ autograph on it)
Two (2) Second-round draft picks (the kind that will actually convey)
One (1) First-round draft pick
Two million three hundred thirty four thousand and five hundred (2,334,500) individual dollar bills that can be used to wipe away tears, or to spend on smoothies, or whatever
One (1) Rack of partially deflated basketballs
One (1) Brian Scalabrine
Don’t ask me how I know these things. My methods are on shaky ethical ground. Let’s just say that I disguise myself as a potted plant very effectively.