Bogdan Bogdanovic has, to the dismay of Serbs everywhere (mostly in Serbia, but possibly elsewhere as well), been in a prolonged shooting slump for the entire month of February. That’s including the All-Star break, where he was so cold from three that I don’t think he even attempted a shot during the three-point contest. Before this game happened, Bogdanovic was shooting roughly 20% from three in the month; this game will bring his percentages up a bit, but he’s still way below expectations there. His field goal percentage as a whole is also languishing below 40%. What’s going on here?
I think I know the answer. The people of Serbia are not sending enough of their SERB POWER to Bogdanovic. SERB POWER functions sort of like prayer, except it has scientifically verifiable effects on the real world. Serbs can choose, either as individuals or as a collective, to send SERB POWER to any Serb who needs their aid. The exact process for transmitting SERB POWER across long distances is a bit esoteric, but it involves radar dishes, flashing lights, and a lot of very intense mental-focus sessions.
Why Serbs are withholding their SERB POWER from Bogdanovic is a mystery to me. Bogdanovic is struggling right now. He needs your help, Serbs. So, tonight, before you go to bed, you have to spend at least ten minutes strapped into a huge radar dish pointed at Sacramento, California, USA and send every last drop of your SERB POWER to him.
I would send my AMERICAN POWER to him, but that’s reserved for Americans only. That’s the rule. So Frank Kaminsky and Trevon Duval are getting my AMERICA POWER tonight. Just so you know, I usually smell like barbecue brisket after an intense AMERICA POWER transmission session.