It doesn’t seem like a coincidence that the Spurs are winning again now that Derrick White is back. They lost 6 of the 7 games that he missed, and almost as soon as he returned, they’ve gone on a 6-game winning streak. By definition, the fact that winning is happing again in San Antonio means that White is a “winning player”.
The on-off stats bear this out. At least, I assume they do, because I’m looking at them right now and I have no idea what information is being presented to me. What are these numbers supposed to mean? It’s a mystery to me. Every time I try to think harder about it, my brain gets all fogged up and refuses to work, like it’s telling me “there is knowledge out there which you are not meant to know”. And I’m like “screw you, I’m the one in charge here”, but despite all my efforts no insight is granted to me. It’s just basketball stats. Why would my brain think I’m not supposed to understand them? Does it want my highlights empire to fall?
But going by the eye-test (the only tool I have at my disposal besides basic boxscore numbers), White is definitely a winning player. That midrange jumper of his is a WINNING midrange jumper, unlike DeMar DeRozan’s. His defense is WINNING defense. We saw both of those things in this game against the Mavericks (Luka Doncic is still crying in the locker room because of how bad White shut him down), as well as his passing ability. He’s an all-around player and, maybe I’m going too far here, the next Manu Ginobili for the Spurs.
Now, on to more serious matters: White, man, there’s a reason bangs were invented, and it’s for dudes like you with ginormous foreheads. Bangs make your forehead seem WAY smaller, that’s why girls have them all the time. And there’s no rule that says you can’t as well. Just put your hair in those little squiggles and drape them in front of there. Like a beaded curtain, if you want to get fancy.