The Hawks are unexpectedly winning some games. They’re not winning “a lot” of games, but they’re winning “some” games, which is many more games than they’re supposed to be winning. And I would like to put forward this hypothesis for your scrutiny: John Collins is the reason they win games. Here is the evidence I have collected in support of that hypothesis: Collins is averaging 20/10 in thirty minutes per game on 57% shooting from the field. To vastly understate it, those are robust numbers.
Additional data points which support my hypothesis:
-The Hawks won this game, and Collins played. Therefore, the Hawks won because Collins played. Don’t try to refute me. I took a logic class once.
-The commentators were getting increasingly hyped for Collins as the game went on. They would not get hyped if Collins were not the cause of the Hawks’ success.
-A fan in the crowd had a big John Collins head to hold up and wave around. Fans are not stupid. They do not support losers. They only support winners. Like John Collins.
-As seen in this video, even teenage girls could recognize the winning impact that Collins had on the court. That is notable because teenage girls do not generally recognize anything that happens on the court.
-Did I mention that John Collins is averaging 20/10? Because he is. Prime Elton Brand can go suck it.
-When you put liquid paper on a bee, it dies.
The defense rests, your honor.