I’m at the point right now where I think the Cavaliers broadcast is purposely showing corporate logos prominently during free-throw attempts. I mean, just look at that thumbnail. How is that not intentional? They’re blatantly using the likeness of Cedi Osman to help shill McDonald’s. The implication here is that NBA superstars such as Osman enjoy eating McDonald’s, so a destitute prole like yourself should also enjoy eating McDonald’s and then maybe one day you won’t be so destitute and you won’t be such a prole. They’re selling the promise of upward mobility through fast-food cheeseburgers.
Well, I’m not going to fall for it. Their marketing isn’t going to work on ME. That’s because their marketing has already been so effective on me that I have no negative feelings left for McDonald’s. Their brand is forever burned into my psyche, and every time I’m hungry, I start craving their low-quality beef patties and their inexplicably delicious sausage McMuffies. It’s happening again right now, just because I saw their logo and I haven’t eaten food in about two hours.
However, my dear viewer, it is not too late for you to escape from the evil corporate clutches of Mickey D’s. Try to imagine how Cedi Osman would turn his nose up at our vile American “cuisine” and instead reach for a heaping plate of freshly-prepared Turkish delicacies, made with love and care by an old Turkish granny. Think about his disdain for our industrialized food processes and how the pure, ancient cuisine of Turkey could never be surpassed by the food served here, food which competes only to be the cheapest and easiest to produce, not the healthiest and tastiest.
You can think about that while I greedily consume sixty chicken McNuggies dipped in honey mustard.