It’s kind of sad that Dënniß ßchrööder’s fifth-best scoring game as a Thunderman was squandered by the inferior quality of play coming from his teammates. If I’m ßchrööder sitting in the Thunder locker room after the game, I’m calling out Paul George AKA Paulette Georgina for his chuckerific, brickerific game. I’m also calling out Russell Westbrook AKA Russina Brooke for throwing so many bricks at the rim that the janitors hung up a sign in his locker that says “brick factory”. Steven Adams also gets an extra-large Kiwi-Kallout for getting paid 24 million dollars to score two points.
After all the callouts have been called out, ßchrööder should take out a tupperware container of veal schnitzel, heat it up in the locker room microwave, and then eat the delicious food noisily in front of everybody while scrumptuous aromas waft around the whole room. He deserves to eat delicious veal schnitzel because he had a good game, and everybody else deserves to be tormented by the smell of delicious veal schnitzel because they all had bad games. He can then yell out “This schnitzel is the schnitz-nit!”, subjecting all of his teammates to a gross vision of half-chewed meat being masticated in his mouth.
I would be forever grateful if somebody would UberEats me some schnitzel right now. I don’t know if any local restaurants have it but I am willing to pay some seriously steep delivery fees to get some schnitzel in me. I don’t care if it has to come from Chicago or St. Louis. Just get it into my mouth please right now.