There’s a new article out on some news outlet that I don’t read (and you shouldn’t either; DTB descriptions should be your only reading material) about Zhaire Smith’s allergic reaction that caused his return from injury to be significantly delayed and also caused him to probably almost die. I didn’t read it (because I don’t need anyone to tell me what opinions to have or what facts to know), but I’m now thinking about all the rookie pranks that the 76ers missed out on, stuff like:
-Doing the old “tar and feather” thing except replacing the tar with peanut butter.
-Making him eat those “Circus Peanuts” candies. Those don’t actually have peanut products in them but they suck so that would be bad enough.
-Going on a team building trip to a peanut factory and not telling him about it until he’s already ankle deep in peanuts.
-Having him eat something with sesame oil in it. Oh wait, that’s what they did, and he almost died.
-Hiding his Epi-pens in embarrassing locations around the arena like the women’s restrooms.
Some seriously missed opportunities there, but that’s okay. I’m sure whatever rookie Philly drafts next year will be so unbelievably fragile that any prank at all will just straight up cause all his vital life functions to cease. It’s a trend with them don’t you know, Philly and drafting death-prone players.
Smith had a really nice game here against the Bulls, definitely the best of his rookie season. Just thought I should mention it before I resume never thinking about this guy like I was for almost all of the season. Is there any chance he gets real playoff minutes? Doubtful. See you next, year, Zhaire!