Okay, so the Pistons got blown out in game one, but never fear! DownToBuck is on the premises, and he is uniquely qualified to give advice directly to Pistons players/coaches/ownership/fans on how to turn this series around. Among his qualifications:
-Is a Bucks fan and knows their deepest inner workings
-Has made highlight videos of Pistons’ role-players for the entire year
As you can see, there’s not an analyst in the universe who is more educated than myself when it comes to the Pistons vs. Bucks matchup. With that out of the way, here’s a detailed list of what I recommend for the Pistons to be more competetive against the Bucks:
-Allow Luke Kennard to shoot the ball however and whenever he wants. Related to this, instruct Wayne Ellington to never shoot the ball.
-Run plays for Luke Kennard.
-If Dwane Casey seems like he’s going to try to take Luke Kennard out of the game, remind him that Luke Kennard is the only Pistons player who can score right now.
-Pray really hard for the restoration of Blake Griffin’s knees. We’re talking get-on-your-knees, clasp-your-hands-in-front-of-your-face, enter-into-divine-convulsions type prayers here.
-Tell Reggie Jackson and Andre Drummond to figure out that lob chemistry they had that worked so well in the second half of the 2014-15 season.
-Don’t read about draft prospects or think about draft picks.
-Remind Pistons fans that it is recommended not to boo their own team and that it is also recommended to actually attend the games.
-Write the phrase “Playoff Thon” on a piece of paper, then rip up the piece of paper, because Playoff Thon doesn’t exist, if it ever existed at all.
-Untrade Stanley Johnson for Thon Maker and see if Johnson can do anything about Giannis.
-Bring in Ben Wallace for a motivational speech about how defense is important but friendships are the most important thing of all. Then after he’s done, clarify that scoring is the most important thing, more important than defense and friendship.
-Front Little Caesar’s a couple million bucks to start an unprofitable campaign where fans get a free pizza and crazy bread if the Pistons manage to not lose by twenty points in any playoff game. The hope would be that the promotion is so personally insulting to the Pistons players that they would actually start playing well.
-Jon Leuer twenty minutes per game starting right now.
-Don’t try to establish Glenn Robinson III, he literally can’t be established.
-Get more comfortable in the Bucks’ arena by researching what exactly a “Fiserv” is.
-Set a minimum of twenty field goal attempts per game for Luke Kennard.
If the Pistons do all these things, I’m confident that they can still get swept, but only lose the remaining games by around forty or fifty total points.