The fact that Brandon Sampson and JaKarr Sampson are on the same team is not only confusing for all but the most aware NBA fans, it also taxes my DTB Organizational System© to its absolute limit. This proprietary software package is composed of 100,000 lines of code (varously of Assembly, Rust, CoffeeScript, C, and Haskell),…
Read MoreMonth: April 2019
T.J. McConnell 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
Marc Zumoff kindly informed us that this game ties a career high in points for T.J. McConnell, but he not-so-kindly neglected to remind us that McConnell’s true career high came in the playoffs, where he scored nineteen against the Celtics. This is a vital piece of information to be omitted, given that the “career high”…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 29 Points Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
Dear Serbs: Please accept my apologies for not making this video in a more prompt fashion. I would have loved to provide the people of Serbia with a Nikola Jokic highlight video as soon as the game ended, but the night of April 10 was such a bonanza of scrubs going off that I couldn’t…
Read MoreCameron Reynolds 19 Points Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
I’m going to go ahead and say what everybody is already thinking: Cameron Reynolds is the next Marcus Georges-Hunt. Just kidding! Not about the Reynolds being the next MGH part, but the “everybody is already thinking” part. Nobody except me, and perhaps some downtrodden Wolves fans who are doing mental exercises to distract themselves from…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 32 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
Dënniß ßchrööder was a 29% three-point shooter last season, so the fact that he had the audacity to take fifteen three-point attempts in this game is both surprising and somewhat admirable. In a way. I guess. He’s a better shooter this season from deep (34%, which is more in line with his career average) but…
Read MoreJerami Grant 28 Points Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
If you had told me before the season that Jerami Grant would be far and away the better player between him and Markieff Morris, I would have considered your statement carefully for a few seconds and then said, “That is possible, I suppose, but I am very skeptical.” I also would have wondered what the…
Read MoreD.J. Wilson 18 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
With Giannis a DNP: Smoothies in the final game of the Bucks’ season, everybody knew that it was going to be D.J. Wilson’s chance to pretend that he’s worthy of being a featured offensive weapon on a team. The Bucks had nothing to play for other than the entertainment of the fans, so it didn’t…
Read MoreDuncan Robinson 15 Points Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
Duncan “Dunkman” Robinson hasn’t played much for the Heat this season, but that didn’t stop him from collecting one of the most prestigious accolades in the entire NBA: the SBPFMINBAH award (pronounced “Subpuff Minbah”). If your little brain is too simple to parse complicated acronyms, SBPFMINBAH stands for “Second Best Player From Maine in NBA…
Read MoreUdonis Haslem 12 Points/1 Final Game? Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
Udonis Haslem has basically been a mascot for the past four seasons. Most of his time is spent sitting on the bench, and if he does get into games, he doesn’t do very much. Nor does he try to do very much. He exists solely because it feels good to keep him on the roster….
Read MoreDwyane Wade Triple Double 25 Pts/11 Rebs/10 Asts/1 Final Game Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
Dwyane Wade felt sand underneath his back and could hear the squawking sounds of gulls above him. Both of these things were strange for many reasons. One, he was supposed to be in Brooklyn, a place not known for its sandy beaches. Two, he could feel the individual grains on his back, even though he…
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