Watching this game, with its multitude of overtimes and nail-biting plays, caused me to suffer several minor cardiac incidents. This is what I always feared would happen when the Bucks finally became good: my fragile blood-pumping equipment wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of the team playing meaningful games deep in the playoffs. However, if my blood circulation is impaired in any way, I’m sure it’s nothing serious. I’m at least conscious enough to make highlight videos and write cogent video descriptions.
I’m also conscious enough to know for a fact that George Hill was the Bucks’ best player tonight, and that it wasn’t even close. While his so-called “star” teammates made the air dusty with their chucked bricks of bricky chuckage, Hill was steady and effective, just as he has been all playoffs. I mean, just look at the statlines of his fellow Buckmen:
Gianass Antetokounmpoop: 12 points, 5-of-16 shooting
Khristina Diddleton: 9 points, 3-of-16 shooting
Erdick Deadsoe: 11 points, 3-of-16 shooting
Dickola Mirobitch: 10 points, 3-of-11 shooting
Boner Smell: 0 points, 0-of-0 shooting, didn’t even get in the game
All those guys sucked, but George Hill and Malcolm Brogdon put their struggling teammates on their backs and straight-up CARRIED them through two overtime periods. I don’t even want to think about how embarrassing this game would have been without Hill’s contributions. I would probably just delete my channel and never go on the internet again for fear of being harassed by Raptors fans.
I’m going to have to cut this description short because I’m having some pretty bad heart arrhythmias right now and it’s making me lightheaded. No need to worry though. I’m definitely too young to die of heart issues.