Or: “Actually Good NBA Players”
The beginning of the 2019-20 season is nigh. With it, a new, eager crop of players joins the league, replacing the old crop that was too garbagey or too old to continue playing in the league. The promise of new stars and new superteams is alluring. However, the 2018-19 season does not truly end until the final compilations are uploaded. These four videos are the final compilations.
Every player who made a field goal during the 2018-19 season is represented here, and they all get equal representation: one player, one clip. Whatever shot was their first of the season is shown here, occasionally with commentary from yours truly. And, for the twelve players who received minutes yet failed to record a field goal, they’ll just be ignored and forgotten forever.
I have repeatedly contacted the Smithsonian to have this series featured in their collection, but they keep ignoring my tweets. That’s really rude and I don’t like it. However, don’t let their dismissal of my monumental contribution to humankind taint your enjoyment of these videos. They’re enjoyable whether or not the Smithsonian thinks they are.
[DTB’s internetip of the day: the timestamps below don’t work on mobile devices. Watch this video on a real computer instead you casual. Also, donate to my Patreon since YouTube doesn’t allow me to collect the ad revenue from my videos: https://www.patreon.com/downtobuck]
0:00 I’m disappointed. This wasn’t as much of a travel as Harden’s usual stepbacks.
0:04 James Harden being shown first in this video was expected. Bradley Beal being shown second in this video is VERY, VERY UNEXPECTED. I would have guessed, like, six other players before him.
0:17 BOLD PREDICTION: Durant won’t even appear in next season’s full-ilation. Not even in part IV.
0:22 Jack Sikma indeed.
0:35 The commentary here is totally inaudible, as I always wish it was when Marv Albert is commentating.
0:44 I don’t think halfway through the second quarter is “right on schedule” when you’re waiting for Donovan Mitchell to put points on the board.
0:48 The font I’m using doesn’t have apostrophes. It’s not my fault, so I’m not gonna apologize to you, “Dan-Jello”, or anyone else.
1:20 Attention Serbs: please watch this video. There are Serbs in it.
1:42 The first and last time this season that LeBron played defense.
1:47 Melo sighting! I guarantee there will be at least one more. Probably in part III.
1:55 Layup man gets paid.
2:24 Last year, I accidentally typed “Jeremy Clarkson” instead of “Jordan Clarkson”. This year I was extra careful.
2:48 Also on the court with Ayton: Devin Booker, Trevor Ariza (?), Ryan Anderson (??), and Isaiah Canaan (???)
3:05 Given the level of hate that Timberwolves fans harbor for Wiggins, I didn’t expect him to appear this early.
3:38 I love when the Magic commentator goes “woooooo”.
4:15 Go watch my Terrence Ross midrange-ilation. I promise it’s sick.
5:01 Go watch my JaVale McGee dunkilation. I promise it’s sick.
5:06 Brevin Knight alleges that this is a “long-range” three. Aren’t all threes long-range? Or, if they aren’t, wouldn’t the shooter have to be a considerable distance behind the line for it to count as “long-range?”
5:15 This unorthodox shot didn’t fool anybody into thinking that Whiteside had developed a post game over the off-season.
5:41 Sorry about the goaltends. They count as makes in the box score so my hands are tied.
6:00 Bucks fans will be very familiar with the “Jabari Shuffle”, demonstrated here.
6:13 Favors starting the season in top form with a totally bland and lame dunk, as is his specialty.
6:41 I’ll be honest, I didn’t actually expect Jingles to jam it here.
6:58 Josh Jackson is apparently so garbo that even a tanking team like the Grizzlies is going to make him “earn” minutes.
7:03 I wonder how many players graduated from part IV last year to part I this year? Monte Morris did.
7:34 I’m a simple man. If a shot has so much arc on it that it goes off the screen, I donate at least one dollar to DownToBuck’s Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/downtobuck).
7:44 Layups cannot be called bank shots. Straight up.
7:57 Another player going from part IV to part I. The commentator saying Bryant’s name like a question indicates that nobody expected him to be in part I.
8:00 Collison is going to dominate the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ rec league.
8:09 Career high eleven points? I believe it.
8:23 Note Chris Paul’s refusal to pass to Mr. Man Boobs.
8:44 Why did the Suns attach a pick to Warren to trade him? He’s in part I! That makes him a valuable player!
8:48 One more part IV to part I graduation. Somehow, it’s not like the others.
9:02 This clip is a photoshop. We all know Danny Green has no finishing ability.
9:10 Everything up until this made sense. Damyean Dotson? Part I? What the frick?
9:21 Witness Belinelli shamefully chasing his own (assumed) miss. Shameful.
9:31 Not a bad way to end part I. Patty Mills is a legit NBA player.