Or: “[Scrubbiness Intensifies]”
Part III of this series features a lot of players who casual fans have never heard of, or have only ever heard of in an ironic context. Many of the players here were only inconsistently part of their team’s regular rotation. However, true DTB acolytes will recognize all these players because almost all of them received a highlight video at some point during the 2018-19 season.
If you enjoy watching scrubs score buckets, what better way to ensure that videos of scrubs scoring buckets continue to get uploaded than donating to my Patreon? https://www.patreon.com/downtobuck
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0:09 There’s not quite enough arc on this three-pointer for the ball to disappear off the screen. I’m just saying, there’s a reason why Ian Clark isn’t in the league anymore.
0:13 Let me just say my piece here. Iguodala did the Nuggets dirty after his one season there, then joined the Warriors dynasty to collect rings and ill-gotten FMVP’s as a sixth man of marginal importance. And now he thinks he has the clout to force the Grizzlies to do whatever he demands either by way of buy-out or trade? FOH outta here my man. You’re getting the bag (17 million bags, to be specific). You’ve had success in your career. Stop being a diva just because you don’t want to play on a bad team.
0:22 There is no reason the bench had to stand up for that pathetic excuse for a “dunk”.
0:56 You are now manually reliving memories of Nik Stauskas dominating LeBron James and the Lakers in the season opener and scoring 24 points.
1:01 I am definitely not crying right now.
1:30 When the commentator described Dwayne Bacon as “silky”, I thought he was gonna say “sizzling”.
1:38 To me, Danuel House will always be “Mr. One Minute”, in commemoration of his rookie year where he played one minute for the Wizards.
1:47 Joel Meyers is clearly convinced that this bucket was a case of offensive goaltending. Apparently it wasn’t.
2:00 That was aesthetic and, dare I say it, Purvis Short-esque.
2:14 Now I’m wondering who on the court was so blessed as to receive a Matt Harpring comparison. My guess is Cedi Osman. My guess is definitely not C.J. Miles.
2:22 Does this really count as “slammed home”?
2:31 The most amazing part of this clip is Thon Maker cleanly catching a pass rather than batting it down to the floor and regathering it.
2:54 Banked-in threes shouldn’t count. Nobody will ever change my mind on this.
2:58 The “Puffy-Haired D.J. Wilson” era of Bucks basketball will forever be cherished by their fans.
3:08 This is a “big shot” because the Jazz are now only losing by 13, a deficit that is much easier to come back from than 16.
3:38 Allegedly, Dellavedova has reworked his form to not be so much of a catapult. That makes me a little b it sad.
3:46 Attention Warriors fans: here is a clip of Omari Spellman. Omari Spellman is now on your team. Flock to this video like sheep so you can pretend to know who Omari Spellman is. I hate bandwagoners.
4:09 Three Bulls players in a row! Since this is part III, I’m not sure this is a good thing. Ideally, your team would only have players in parts I and II.
4:23 “How ’bout this guy? He’s been great.” Uh, his career is in shambles. That’s not great.
4:47 This has all the makings of a REVENGE GAME for Bismack Biyombo, but Biyombo actually has nothing but good feeling for the Magic after they gave him a four-year, 68 million dollar contract.
5:00 This is the second time in this series that a layup has been referred to as a bank shot. Why?
5:27 I love it when players dunk it and scream right into the microphone that’s attached to the basket.
5:46 I feel like nobody even remembers the time that Michael Beasley posted a worrying Instagram post where he indicated that he missed his mom and would see her soon in heaven.
6:09 This clip feels incomplete without the Greg Kelser “nice”.
6:43 He’s banging Instagram models. You’re sitting at home watching highlights.
7:08 That jumpshot looked smooth. However, it would be unwise to change your opinion of Markelle Fultz on the basis of one clip. Do not allow any amount of optimism to enter your thoughts.
7:12 As a society, we’ve gotta standardize on one spelling of Jonathan, and let’s not use this one.
7:30 I just remembered that I haven’t looked at that photoshopped picture of Tyson Chandler with really skinny legs in a while.
8:05 Jevon Carter was probably the worst player in the NBA last season in terms of scoring the ball, but here he is in part III instead of part IV, so he can’t have been all bad.
8:14 All this talk of “big strong bodies” is making me uncomfortable.
8:40 Houston fans who were obsessed with how much of a steal Gary Clark was, come in here and defend yourselves.
8:59 At least he’s not in part IV. Barely.
9:08 Jaron Blossomgame simply has too cool of a name to fail in the NBA.
9:17 Spoiler Alert: Michael Carter-Williams did not find a home in Houston.