Attention Lakers fans: you are NOT allowed to watch this video. Go watch some vids of Anthony Davis or LeBron James or Alex Caruso or whatever “superstar” your team signed recently. As much as I don’t want to, I’m begrudgingly allowing you to watch vids of players that are on your team. But this vid depicting Moritz Wagner scoring 13 points in his first game with the ‘Zards is, as they say in Germany, VERBOTEN. STRICTLY VERBOTEN.
Maybe I would be willing to be lenient, maybe let you watch this particular vid but no other future Wagner vids, but here’s the problem: you guys treated him like a “meme” player. Wagner is not a meme. He’s a real human being who just wants to play basketball well and for people to like him. I know that you soulless husks masquerading as basketball fans may find that hard to understand, and I’m sympathetic that your Los Angeles-based existence has made it impossible to form real human relationships, but the fact remains. He was a joke to you.
If I find out that you, a Lakers fan since birth (or, more accurately, since they started winning championships you frickin’ bandwagoner piece of human garbage), are allowing this videographical content distributed by YouTube to pass into your retinas, I will delete you. Not just your YouTube account, or your Internet, or the video itself, but you. I will delete you. Prepare for deletion.