It’s too early in the season to know how good Anfernee Simons is. Blazers fans have high expectations for him this season, but any fanbase, Blazers fanbase included, is usually optimistic about their young players. I take their expectations with a grain of salt. That said, Simons did dominate the last season’s final game with a 37/9 line (coincidentally against the Kings, just like this game), so he does have proven scoring ability. This uncertainty made my decision to make this video very difficult. Fifteen points could end up being a ho-hum scoring total for him, or it could end up being his season-high. I just have no way of knowing.
When I’m struggling to decide on whether a particular performance is highlight-worthy, I’ll often consult my little kitty, Japurri Purrker. It’s not cool to dilute terms like “oracle”, but I would say that Japurri’s oracular wisdom basically qualifies him to be an oracle. If I ask him “Should I make an Anfernee Simons highlight video?” and he mews back at me, that means I should make it. If he just looks at me, or if he walks away, or if he flops over to receive tubby tummy rubbies, that means I shouldn’t make it.
I have to be careful when I’m asking questions of the oracle. If the oracle is hungry, he’ll meow at me whether or not he wants me to make a highlight video for a particular player. I also have to make sure that he’s had a chance to look at the box-scores to make an informed decision. That’s why he has a little tablet by his food bowl that shows a scrolling list of all player statlines from that day of games. He’s a smart kitty so I’m sure he has a little mental database within that furry head of his which contains within it the season averages for all players. Maybe he even calculates PER and win-shares for them. I wouldn’t put it past Japurri.
If Blazers fans want to thank me for making this illuminating and entertaining highlight video, they should direct their thanks instead to my oracle kitty Japurri Purrker who is a very smart and well-behaved kitty (except when he pukes on the carpet instead of the bathroom tiles like he’s supposed to).