It just occurred to me how weird it is for somebody to be named “Christian”. Just because it’s relatively commonplace doesn’t mean it’s not weird. The name is literally just the word for an adherent of Christianity. Even if you’re the holiest, most devout Christian ever, it’s still weird that your name is just “Christian”.
Check out these other names that Christian Wood could have just as easily been given if the same convention had been followed:
Jew Wood
Muslim Wood
Mormon Wood
Buddhist Wood
Atheist Wood
See how dumb those all look? They vary from borderline offensive (for example, naming a character in a book “Jew Wood” would guarantee that your work never gets published by a mainstream publisher) to goofy (“Atheist Wood” is the default state of all wood that you find growing out in nature). Yet, somehow, we’ve all been duped into thinking that “Christian” is a totally fine first name to give to people.
The only thing that could be worse is if Wood’s parents named him after a type of tree. I’m thinking Oak Wood or Balsam Wood or Ply Wood. That would be horrible. And also awesome. But completely horrible and embarrassing too.