The Kardashian Curse that was cruelly cast upon Tristan Thompson has, officially, been lifted. I don’t know why now would be the time for it to be lifted, and I don’t know which Kardashian (there is, apparently, more than one) put it on him in the first place, but all that is in the past. It’s gone now. How can I tell? Let me educate you, for it is I who have studied some of these accursed arts.
Obviously, a player under the malefic spell of a hideous hag-witch would not be able to hit multiple threes in the game. Their body, ensorcelled by dark magic, would have not the strength to propel the ball all the way from the three-point arc to the rim more than once per game. Thompson, beset as he was by evil goety, could not summon the strength to even attempt a three for many years of his career.
He is a new man now. He is playing with so much joy and energy that it is almost terrifying to behold. Once mocked for his statement “the East still runs through Cleveland”, he is proving that there is still fight in him, and this fight, this spirit, is infectious. The Cavaliers are playing very well with him on the court, no longer the pushovers they were last year.
What did Thompson do to deserve the Kardashian Curse? We may never know, but we do know of the indomitable power of his soul. No enchantment from a deformed harridan could hold him down forever.