If you watch this video (which you totally should), you’ll see that most of Thomas Bryant’s 21 points come from dunks. That’s cool. I love dunks a lot. I even put the amount of dunks in the title of the video. But there’s only two jumpshots in the whole video even though Bryant is totally money from midrange (he sucks from three this year but ignore that). That’s not cool. That makes me sad. A guy like Bryant should be canning at least four or five or nine midrange shots per game. He should be hitting enough midrange shots that I can put the number in the title of the video.
Insider sources tell me that Bryant is so dominant from the midrange that the Wizards as a collective unit have started calling it the “Bryantrange” instead. Like, if Beal hits a shot from sixteen feet, everybody refers to that as a “Bryantrange” shot. How could a guy who gets an entire area of the court named after him only hit two shots from that area during an entire game? It’s not only outrageous, it’s blasphemous. Straight up blasphemous to Bryant. And disrespectful.
I hereby am starting a campaign to allow Bryant the use of my time machine to go back to an earlier era of basketball where midrange shots were more accepted by coaches. That’s pretty much an era other than the era we’re currently in. I don’t normally let other people touch my time machine, but I’ve decided this is an important cause which deserves the use of my proprietary (and dangerous) time-travelling hardware.