It has come to my attention that Jaren Jackson’s rebounding numbers aren’t all they should be. It’s not, like, a Brook Lopez situation where they’re comically low and pathetic (don’t even talk to be about how he “boxes out” I don’t want to hear it), but for a 6-11 dude with intact knee ligaments, it’s not great. Now, I know, through repeated viewings of his scoring performance, that he’s a total beast. A stud, and a beast. So why isn’t he grabbing boards, despite his beast status? There can only be one conclusion:
Someone, or someTHING, is stealing his rebounds. I don’t know for sure, but I have some hunches as to who the culprit is.
-Jonas Valanciunas. Valanciunas is a known rebound stealer from his days in Toronto, unfairly using his large size and soft hands to grab rebounds with little effort. There is no reason to think that he would not continue his rebound thievery in Memphis, do the detriment of Jackson.
-Brandon Clarke. Rookies sometimes need to be taught their place, and it looks like no one has taught Clarke that rookies aren’t allowed to grab rebounds when there are veterans present. Jackson, now in his second year in the league, qualifies as a veteran and should be allowed to use his seniority to force Clarke to only grab rebounds that Jackson could not possibly grab.
-Solomon Hill. This dude straight up has no NBA level skills, so he tries to compensate by “hustling” and “doing the little things”. For some reason, he thinks rebounding falls under “little things”. It doesn’t. Rebounding is a big thing. That’s why it’s one of the main boxscore stats. And it should be left to the professionals. Professionals like Jackson and no one else.
-Opposing players. These morons think that, in the modern NBA, it’s cool to try and grab offensive rebounds. Here’s a hint: it’s not. Get back on D so that your transition defense remains solid like the analytics people tell you to. Offensive rebounding is SO 2010.
-The rim. The cursed orange ring attached to the translucent plastic rectangle swallows way too many shots. And once it goes through, grabbing the ball no longer counts as a rebound. What’s up with that? Whoever invented the rules of basketball obviously had it out for Jackson, because without this stupid rule, Jackson could probably push 30 rebounds per game.