Garrett Temple scored sixteen points in the second quarter of this game. Again, I ask you, who even needs Kevin Durant? Temple can clearly replicate Durant’s level of production if the circumstances line up properly, which, as far as I’m concerned, is all the time. I mean, look at how smooth his three-pointers are. Durant is no doubt watching from the bench in dismay as his future role on the team is whittled away at by the role-player to end all role-players.
Since Temple is a lower volume, lower drama version of Kevin Durant who also doesn’t just go after randos on Twitter when he’s feeling butthurt, there’s no reason why thousands of people shouldn’t be flocking to watch these videos of him. However, the view count of my last Temple video, uploaded five days ago, stands at 245. That’s upsetting to me, and not only is it upsetting, but it is distressing as well. I’m distressed at the state of the world when a player like Temple is treated with such disfavor by the YouTube community at large. Humanity is well and truly doomed if they would rather observe the antics of a tubby, washed Carmelo than a muscular, attractive, and understated Temple.
Remember, I gave you Temple highlights and I can take them away. Think about a world with no videos of Garrett Temple. Is that a world you want to live in? No? Then watch these damn videos and get all your friends to do the same.