If Jaren Jackson was a meatball sub, how many meatballs do you think would be on that sub? It’s a question that’s open to debate, certainly. Many of the worlds’ top minds are working on it at this very moment. But that shouldn’t stop the layperson from adding their own input to the discussion. We don’t want to live in a world where only elite scientists, sheltered from the realities of the world by the great height and smooth walls of their ivory towers, get to decide the amount of meatballs on a hypothetical meatball sub that represents an NBA player.
I’m going with two. Two meatballs on the Jaren Jackson meatball sub. One for each of his big booty cheeks, with which he pushes opposing defenders (including “elite defender” Rudy Gobert” out of the way with ease.
Obviously you say zero meatballs, because than what you have is just some bread and not a meatball sub at all. And with one meatball, I don’t know if that counts as a sub either. A sub implies length, and with only one meatball, there’s not a lot of length involved unless you make the meatball really long. But then it’s not a meatball anymore, it’s a meatloaf.
And if you go higher than two meatballs, that’s just incredibly stupid and wrong and you are stupid and wrong by association.