Garrett Temple should drag his rear end over to the nearest place that sells greeting cards/birthday cards/other types of cards, go to the “thank you” card section, pick a thank you card that’s somehow sports-related, take the card home, and write a thank you note in it. If he happens to read this video description, he’ll know who the card should be written to, but if he needs some more specific wording to use, I’ve got him covered:
“Dear Kevin,
Thank you exploding your Achilles and then signing with the Nets. That way, when I signed with them, it was with the knowledge that I would play a lot of minutes and get to shoot a lot of shots. That’s something I haven’t done much of in my career and I’m grateful that your tendons are fragile enough to give me this opportunity.
To show you how thankful I really am, enclosed you will find a $25 gift card for Subway restaurants. Subway is always a good choice because you make your sub healthy if you want. Or you could get a cheesesteak with double meat and bacon. It’s not like it matters what you eat or if you’re fat since you don’t even play anymore.
Thanks again man. You’re the best teammate ever. I hope that when you get healthy I get traded so that you don’t steal my minutes.
-Garrett”
It’s somewhat fallen out of fashion to send thank you cards after receiving gifts, but Kevin Durant has given Garrett Temple the biggest gift of all: the gift of NBA minutes. Temple would be breaking every law of etiquette and basic human decency if he didn’t send a card.