As if Knicks fans don’t have it bad enough, it turns out that the shoulder surgery that Damyean Dotson had over the off-season has completely destroyed his jumper. After he developed into a decent role-player in his second season, I’m sure Knicks fans had hopes that Dotson’s development would continue into his third year, but instead, he regressed. So you can add that to the list of things that went wrong for the Knicks this year.
Now, I don’t want to harass Knicks fans more than is absolutely necessary, but I just found out about another thing that is currently making their lives miserable: they have to eat New York-style pizza. All the time. If they want pizza, they have three choices: fly to the midwest at great personal cost in order to get Chicago-style thin crust pizza cut into squares, fly to the midwest at great personal cost in order to get Detroit-style thick crust pan pizza cut into squares, or stay in Poo Dork city and eat gross floppy triangles that don’t even meet my extremely loose definition of “food”.
Why a city with such a rich Italian heritage would invent the world’s most disgusting pizza variant is a mystery to me. It’s just gigantic triangles. If I wanted gigantic triangles I would go to Egypt and look at the pyramids of Giza. I wouldn’t go to New York and have my taste buds abused by oversized pieces of saucy cardboard that everybody in the city is too Stockholm-syndromed to admit is disgusting garbage that is only one step up from eating literal ass excretions.
The only solace for Knicks fans is that Damyean Dotson is probably rich enough to have his own personal chef that makes him real pizza.