Markieff Morris was apparently out for a stretch of games in late December/early January, but I care so little about him that I didn’t even realize. The fact that he was (presumably) injured badly enough to miss significant time is totally new to me. I just assumed he was sucking so much that he wasn’t ever showing up as a candidate for a highlight video.
Well, Morris is officially back! Did you see how I used an exclamation point to get people hyped for Markieff Morris? Did it work? No, it didn’t work. How could anybody get hyped for a guy who went 0-of-7 and 2-for-12 in his first two games back from injury?
To illuminate the situation, I’ve located some AUTHENIC, RAW, and UNEDITED quotes from Pistons fans after they were forced to witness Morris’ lackluster “return”:
“Trade Morris and Drummond for anything. Anything. Please god.”
“I am never eating Little Caesars Pizza again. From now on I will only eat superior Jet’s Pizza.”
“If Casey keeps giving minutes to this bum instead of Sekou I am going to run on the court and self-immolate.”
“Morris is straight up trash. I have moldy diapers and six-week-old chicken wings in my trash can that are less trash than this trash ass waste of cap space.”
“I have never craved death more than I do right as this moment.”
But now the haters (a group which includes yours truly) are eating their words because Morris put on a BRUTAL SCORING EXHIBITION against the Celtics. When he was in the game, he was straight up getting buckets and encourage all the haters to suck his you-know-what. I’m not going to go so far as to suck anything, but I will admit that he had a good game.
The Pistons should still trade him for whatever they can get, though.