OFFICIAL PREFERRED IN-GAME SNACKS OF JAMES JOHNSON POWER RANKINGS
1. Mozzarella sticks smuggled by a friendly fan from the concession stand
2. A carton of melted strawberry ice cream stashed in warm-up pants
3. Candy from the candy bucket on the scorer’s table (consumed in fistfuls without removing the wrappers first)
4. One chicken strip stored in each sock (honey mustard dipping sauce slathered between toes before game)
5. Slice of pizza because Spo said that if he plays good he can have a slice of pizza
6. Burps that taste like spicy buffalo wings
7. A whole rack of BBQ ribs that nobody knows where it came from
[POWER GAP]
9001. Gatorade
9002. Water
9003. Begging Dion to share his edibles but misunderstanding the context of the word “edibles”