Heat commentary-man John Crotty (who sucks by the way – GIVE ME BACK TONY FIORENTINO YOU COWARDS) alleged in this game that Kendrick Nunn “[had] milk in his veins”. And now I’m sitting here wondering if that’s a good thing, to have milk running through one’s veins. Crotty obviously thought that this was a good thing because it was a player on his own team who earned the compliment after doing something that was impressive. But I’m not so sure.
I guess milk is usually served cold, which would make the idiom similar to the more common assertion that one is “cold-blooded” when they effortlessly and calmly pull off an astounding feat in a high-pressure situation. And having liquid milk flowing through your blood vessels is at least preferable to having shards of ice in your blood vessels, since the razor-sharp ice chunks would literally rip you apart from the inside out and leave you as nothing more than a bloody pile of flesh ribbons on the ground.
On the other hand, milk has none of the oxygen-transporting capabilities that blood cells have, so you would probably die instantly if all your blood were suddenly replaced with milk. Not only that, but milk is not an aggressive-sounding thing to have in your body. It honestly sounds too feminine, since only women produce milk naturally in their bodies (unless Nunn has somehow induced lactation – gotta make use of your nipples somehow). So, overall, I give Crotty’s attempt to be supportive of the Heat rookie a 2/10. He should have said “he has Mountain Dew in his veins.” That would be awesome. I love Mountain Dew. I’ve got a bottle of it on my desk right now.
(please give me money PepsiCo)