Since the denizens of the internetubes at large seem to care way more about Serge Ibaka the Chef than Serge Ibaka the Basketball Player, I’ve got an idea for that cooking show of his that will launch his popularity from “niche” to “worldwide”:
Bake the championship ring into brownies.
And I’m not just talking about dropping the ring into the brownie batter, baking it, and then fishing it out of the finished pan of brownies. I’m talking about somehow pulverizing the ring into dust and, however much the pile of championship dust weighs, use that much less flour in the recipe. That way he can serve the brownies to people and it’ll be like a special unique honor to have ingested part of a real, authentic NBA championship ring.
This is the kind of stupid stunt that draws the eyeballs of the world. They don’t care about you being personable, friendly, funny, and wholesome on a cooking show. They care about you doing outrageous and wasteful things in the name of eyeballs and ad revenue. Using the powdered remnants of a championship ring in a pan of brownies will also serve as a valuable metaphor for how championship rings don’t even matter that much when it comes to evaluating the quality of an individual player.
Now I’m hungry for brownies but I can’t cook or bake worth a darn. Do you think it would be okay if I just poured the brownie mix into my mouth?